Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Never Use Monistat again.

In case there was ever any doubt as to my sex (and there is and should be; Curbed LA recently referred to me as a "he" and my presentation is generally androgenous), this post will put it to rest.

I hesitated to write this post because the subject matter is certainly not dignified. You would not find this discussed in Virginia Quarterly Review, for example. But if a blog can function as a citizens' information network, this is certainly the type of information I believe should be circulated: information that empowers us to act independently of advertiser's wishes and take control of our own bodies.

I have a clove of garlic in my vagina.

A few days ago, I started to get a yeast infection. Being broke and generally averse to sticking synthetic, expensive anti-fungal agents (Monistat and co.) into my vagina, I decided to try some home remedies.

Yesterday morning, following the advice of this website, I cut a notch in a peeled clove of garlic and tied some floss around it as a rescue string. I then stuck it up there. I left it in for 8 hours, took it out, went to sleep, and then stuck another clove in this morning. I've also been drinking cranberry juice and eating soy yogurt and miso soup for the live acidophilus cultures.

It's working brilliantly! Garlic doesn't ooze out disgustingly like Monistat, and it has completely relieved my itching. It's less noticeable than a tampon when its in.

I recommend it, if you're unfortunate enough to get an infection. And I recommend visiting the website I linked above, if you want the full and complete DIY on yeasties.


Erica Bestpitch said...

that's fucking awesome. i'm glad you posted.

IMO, the idea that talking about a clove of garlic resting peacefully in your snatch is less than "dignified" reifies the hegemonic values that try to make us ashamed of "feminine hygiene", whatever the fuck that means.

so rock it. i think Bitch magazine is perfectly dignified and i bet they'd publish an article on home remedies for snatch sickness. hell, you could write it.

Sabrina said...

Hahaha. I went to that link, and, although it's awesome, halfway through reading it, I decided it may not be such a good idea to look at a yeast infection site while at work.

Anonymous said...

garlic is a cure-all. like apple cider vinegar and multiple orgasms.
i love you.

Herrien said...

Nice post, thanks for sharing this wonderful and useful information with us.

Green Tea

Anonymous said...

I also have garlic in my vagina right now, and it's a life saver. However, I couldn't help but notice that you mentioned tampons.... Have you not yet heard of the DivaCup? Then you'll never have to think of wasting your money on Tampax anymore. Hello environmentalism and vagina-friendliness! I swear by the DivaCup and thought I'd spread the word :)